This week things are going to change I hope…
We’ve got a donor, he’s confirmed and it’s looking positive. I’m petrified that it’ll drop through yet again. We’ve never got as far as how it feels right now. There’s still no donation as it were, but on Wednesday we’ll be in receipt of the first batch of goods.
And if so that’s further than we’ve ever got.
There’s certainly something to be said about counting chickens before they’ve hatched…
Hopefully tonight we’ll be able to speak to him and get him to sign on the dotted line before we go to collect on Wednesday.
At the minute it’s all about charting temperatures and how my body is reacting. My alarm goes off in the morning and with eyes still screwed shut I turn it off and reach for the thermometer on my bedside table.
It’s quite a funny ritual.
Bleep. It’s turned on.
Then I lie there half asleep and wait.
Bleep. It’s done.
Now finally open my eyes and update the one of many pregnancy apps on my iPad. (I use Glow the most…)
Fall back to sleep.
Alarm goes off again. Crap! I’m going to be late if I dont get up now!!
Apparently when you’re ovulating the temperature will rise a little and stay that way if you’re pregnant. So it may help me aviod getting ahead of myself. Here’s some info: http://www.babycenter.com/chart-basal-body-temperature-and-cervical-mucus
I’ve got an appointment with the Doctor on the 12th of November. So hopefully we will have all the ammo we need to get help if we need it.
I guess we’re relying on the fact our donor has what he needs and that I’m ticking over perfectly. Being 32 does scare me as there are so many things that could be wrong, but who knows…
I didn’t manage to get to the hospital for my second blood test so we’ll have to wait til next month for that one.
It feels ridiculous that after 3 years of trying to make a family, we’re only just getting all the ingredients.
I really dont think I can let myself dream right now. Before I’ve seen little things and I’ve bought them. This time, I’ve got nothing. Not so much as a teddy bear. It hurt so much last time when I gave it all away. Baths, clothes, baskets, changing mats… I’ll never forget leaving all that behind.
If we cant conceive now, I don’t know how I’ll feel. I’m simply not thinking about it.
What will be will be, but please keep everything crossed for us!
Things are about to get messy.